7 months old

Lizzie is now 7 months old. Well, 7 months & a day :)

Sometime in May I had a brief conversation with the attorney in Iowa, Lori. Everything out there was good & great. She wondered if we were any closer to getting things finalized in California. I figured we were because we had an attorney here who was being paid to gather the correct papers (birth documentation, etc) and tell us what we needed to do (implied we did not need post placement visits, being a private adoption).

Each email I sent ended with "Let me know if there is anything Richard and I need to do!" and figured we were all good, since I never heard back really.

So I talk to the Iowa attorney, she says well, give the California attorney a call because you should be getting a date soon! 180 days past birth is when things can be finalized! And then she says if I can't get a hold of him, call the county, things would have been filed long ago, assuming he has everything needed, but sounds like he hasn't needed anything else from anyone.

County of San Diego has no idea who we are when I call them in May. Not under either of our names, under Lizzie's birthmom's name, not anywhere.

I finally get to speak with California attorney, who at this point, yes, almost 6 months (180 days!!!) later says it might be best to file & finalize in Iowa.

WHAT!?!

Would have been good to know that like back in November when he was hired.

So we now wait for the new Iowa attorney to have the papers (including all of the post-placement social worker visits we actually do need), and then he can file & get us assigned a court date we get to go to Iowa for a court hearing to finalize. Right.

Immediately start on the home study post-placement visits. Those are fine, turns out Lizzie is adjusting. And that the boys are fine with another sibling. Good stuff to know. And a new Iowa attorney is hired for the finalization part on our behalf. And things are moving along. Just more delayed than we would have liked.

Getting closer. for real this time, hopefully!

12 weeks old!

Look who is as big as a lemon!
Haha, it's actually a giant lemon, so doesn't show good proportion of Lizzie's normal sized head. But I still like the photo.

12 weeks ago we were hanging out in a hospital waiting room.
Getting ready to hold Lizzie, beside ourselves with nerves and anticipation.

Today I'm trying to figure out if I should take the 4 kiddos to Legoland for the morning and what the best way is to wrangle a child in the midst of the terrible-2's.

I've lost track of the weeks, in terms of when someone asks. I say either just over 2 months, or almost three months. But 12 weeks old is kind of a milestone, I guess :)

Stats from her 2 month appointment are
height (ha!): 21 inches, 10th percentile
weight: 9lbs 13.25ozs, 25th percentile

I continue to text photos of Lizzie to Desiree. Have sent a few collection of hard copy photos too. Haven't heard back since December. Which is how it goes, I guess. No "right" way for either side to do it. So we continue with what feels comfortable for us, and if anything changes on her end, feelings towards amount of contact, I just hope she lets us know.

Lizzie is loved.
See?
:)

Details, details...

Lizzie still does a lot of this (sleeping):
And also some of this (being made to dress up in outfits and being confused about it):

She's now gone to the beach (averaging a difference of about 70 degrees between here and Cedar Rapids, IA),
And met just about all of her extended family!
And she is getting cuter and cuter every day!

All that is left now for the adoption of Elizabeth are the smaller detail parts. Still big deals, but nothing that could really alter our family now :)

The birthfather did not seek custody,
we were represented in court yesterday by our attorney out there in frigid (single digits!!) Iowa winter wonderland. A perk of Iowa adoption law, we didn't have to fly out to be present :)

Finalization here in California is seperate, and we do need to be there, but that is a few months off still. And at that point her legal name will change from "Baby Girl J______" to Elizabeth Rose Desiree Wilcox. Can't wait!

Homecoming!

Updates will still happen, but back to being mom (but now of 4 kids with 3 school schedules!!), and no more constant downtime of hotel living...posts may drop off.
We have a court date of January 13, 2011 to finalize the adoption in Iowa. Thankfully we don't need to be there, our attorney will represent us in court. And we don't have our court date for California, but it will be a few months after that. And at that point Lizzie will be official! She is in terms of not being able to be taken away. But she currently doesn't have a legal name. Sad, huh? She's known as "baby girl __birthmoms-last-name____" in all legal paperwork!


And back to the fun part.....
We made it home late at night on Friday!

Social calendar got filed quite quickly as word got out that Lizzie was now where she belongs :)

The kids are adjusting well to her (though not adjusting as much to not being spoiled by grandparents!!), and everyone has been doing great!

Photos finally from the trip home.
Meeting Alice in Denver!

Open eyes!!!!
My airport greeter!!

LATE, and a very long day of travel...3 planes & 10 hours total!! Richard stayed up to wait though :)

Next morning Matthew was up first (he's our early riser, Brett prefers to sleep in), and therefore first to hold Miss Lizzie (no photos, as Richard & I weren't quite awake yet, late night for us, early morning for the kid means no camera ready).

Brett found that out, and needed to be first at doing something. Perfect! Handed him a bottle & trained him for his future job around here (fail, as his attention span for the task is about 10 seconds)



Lazy day on Saturday, and then off to Del Mar for dinner at the grandparents house!
Greeted by Brendan & Larissa :)

No Lizzie, but cute anyways...Brendan having Wyatt sing along to songs on youtube :)

Dona & Ed visiting with Lizzie!
And Gramz & Grandaddy trying to get a photo for their Xmas card (Matthew finding opportunity to get his photo taken!)

Sunday was filled with visiting the other grandparents and lunch with a friend (YAY Karen!!! Happy you're as over the moon as I am!!), while Richard celebrated his 33rd birthday watching a Charger loss :(

Time to come home!

Got the call that we were free at around 2:45. From being the well-organized type I am (or tremendously bored, your pick) I knew there was a flight leaving at 4:20. And that this specific flight would eventually get me to Carlsbad AND pit me in Denver for a quick stop!

Very litle time, so I quickly called the front desk to jaw the luggage guy come up to help me, and then away we drove! Got to the airport about an hour before the flight, bought that one way ticket and went straight to get on that plane!

Photos coming in a bit, but we got in a great visit with Alice...somehow she was able to convince the security folks to let her up to greet me as I got off the plane with her newest niece!! Went to the same brew-pub I had gone to on my trip out! We had drinks, ate some appetizers, changed a diaper, and then away I flew to LAX!

Writing on my phone right now on the plane waiting to get to the gate :) next flight is to carlsbad and then I get to go HOME!!!!!! With LIZZIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 1 week, Lizzie!!

1 week ago (well, 30 minutes now), Lizzie was born!
Been an insane week, wonderful highs, and odd rollercoaster of anything in between the amazingness of it all. Or something. I don't even know.

So here we are. In a hotel instead of a hospital, but in a desperate waiting game. Last week was waiting to meet our daughter, this wtome I'm waiting for a phone call (giving me permission to leave the state, could quite literally be any minute), and also waiting for that magical 96 hour mark to arrive. That is at 3pm central time, still an hour away.

Today was fine. Desiree had me come to her apartment. That was strange. I took Lizzie out of the carrier, and Desiree held her for an hour or so while we talked. Mostly about her background and how she ended up with the need to place her baby for adoption. Sad, depressing, all of that. It has not been easy for her, and I suppose this is how she is making sure Lizzie isn't raised with similar hardships. Both in tears on and off, and then it was time for me to go. She signed the paper, which has better be the final one!! And then I was off!

So we should be leaving soon. But need that phone call & 3pm to arrive!!

Day 7...

Lizzie turns 1 week old tomorrow!
The snow started in today, and is supposed to get worse tomorrow. I'm officially over hotel living with a newborn (and without the rest of my family) in a strange, cold city.

Had loosely planned on going home tomorrow. And had paperwork been completed on time and correctly (for once not my fault!), that is exactly what would be happening!

So the attorney met with the birthmom today to have a few more things signed. They faxed those out to California. Talked to the California person (gov't, not our attorney), and they're still missing a signature from the birthmom. No clearance to leave the state given today!

But then the strangest thing happened and caught me entirely off guard. Shopping around with Lizzie today, at a random shop about 10 miles from our hotel...and ran into Desiree, the birthmom. Yeah, huh!??!!! So we talked, a bit awkwardly, for a couple of minutes, she took a couple of photos of Lizzie (asleep in the car seat carrier) with her cellphone. And then she cried a bit as we said goodbye.

Then I got a call from her this evening. Asking if we could possibly meet prior to me leaving (hopefully) this weekend. Leaves us with tomorrow. Strange position to be put in, and one that I kind of been hoping to avoid. But faced with her on the phone, hard to say no to a request like that. I think we both know it will be a very long time before Lizzie & Desiree see each other again.

The attorney's office was going to meet with the birthmom tomorrow to get the final signature, fax those out, and possibly have me cleared to travel for the weekend. But that's everything going very smoothly. Instead I'll be giving the birthmom the papers to sign. The attorney costs for each trip to get a signature are horrendous. And for them to fax it to me, and for me to fax it back to them, and the ICPC people of California...makes more sense, since I'll be seeing her anyways.

So while my ideal was to be flying out tomorrow, I will now be visiting with Desiree and *our* daughter, trying to find conversation. Emotionally draining day today, running into her, realizing more time to be spent here, and with the numerous delays. Goal tomorrow is to have a plane ticket purchased for Saturday morning.

On positive, we did have a pediatrician appointment for Miss Lizzie, and everything looks great for her!! :)